![\"Self-Love-Sad-Woman\"](\"https:\/\/gaylekatz.com\/groundedgirlsguide\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/self-love-sad-young-woman.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
Ho Ho Ho or No No No?<\/p>\n
Not looking forward to getting together with your family this holiday season? I totally get it.<\/p>\n
If hearing the same old Christmas songs droning on, racking up debt buying presents your in-laws probably won\u2019t like, and being held hostage at the dinner table doesn\u2019t tickle your fancy, you might need to make a change in how you handle the holidays with your family.<\/p>\n
While I wouldn\u2019t advise getting all liquored up on mimosas or starting an all out brawl, there are mindful ways to take care of yourself. It\u2019s called self-love.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/h2>\nSelf-love Is A Mindset.<\/h2>\n
It\u2019s about having consideration for your own wellbeing and happiness. With that in mind, I want you to stop thinking about everybody else and just focus on yourself.<\/p>\n
Will your family unconditionally encourage and support you? Or, will they only stress you out, take you for granted and remind you of your shortcomings?<\/p>\n
Be honest with yourself.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
Decide whether you want to go to your family festivities or not.<\/strong><\/h2>\n\u00a0<\/p>\n
What to do if you go\u2026<\/strong><\/h3>\nConsider reframing how you interact and respond to people, especially with those who push your buttons.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
No Expectations<\/strong><\/p>\nDon\u2019t expect anyone to thank you for giving gifts and certainly don\u2019t expect to get anything in return. Do things like buying gifts because you WANT to do them not because you\u2019re expecting something in return.<\/p>\n
If you got a promotion at work or you\u2019re dating a new guy, don\u2019t expect anyone to ask you how you\u2019re doing or what\u2019s new in your life. If you want to talk about them either bring those topics up yourself or forget about them.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
Set Boundaries<\/strong><\/p>\nOn the flip side, if you lost your job or broke up with your boyfriend and those topics are still touchy ones for you, make sure to shut down anyone around you who brings them up or wants to talk about them. You can do this easily by saying something as simple as, \u201cI appreciate your concern and interest, but I\u2019m not ready to talk about it yet.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
Take A Timeout<\/strong><\/p>\nIf your family is getting a little out of hand, take a break in the bathroom in order to temporarily get away from the madness. You can also go outside to get some air. Did someone bring a dog? See if you can take it for a walk.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
Decompress Afterward<\/strong><\/p>\nIf you\u2019re still at the get together, think about how you\u2019re going to get your groove back afterward. Maybe it\u2019s a bubble bath to release all that stress? Or maybe you pop in that first-person shooter and mow down a mob of zombies? Whatever you do, make sure it gives you pleasure and takes your mind off your family drama.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
What to do if you don\u2019t go\u2026<\/strong><\/h3>\nIf you don\u2019t feel up to dealing with your uncle\u2019s passive aggressive ways or your sister-in-law\u2019s constant blathering and you decide not to go, try to plan out your activities so you don\u2019t start feeling lonely or left out.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
Tell Your Family<\/strong><\/p>\nIt\u2019s totally fine not to attend the holiday gathering, but make sure you tell your aunt or your mother or whoever that you\u2019re not going. Not going and not bothering to tell anyone will just cause another drama and you don\u2019t want that.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
Consider reframing how you interact and respond to people, especially with those who push your buttons.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/p>\n
No Expectations<\/strong><\/p>\n Don\u2019t expect anyone to thank you for giving gifts and certainly don\u2019t expect to get anything in return. Do things like buying gifts because you WANT to do them not because you\u2019re expecting something in return.<\/p>\n If you got a promotion at work or you\u2019re dating a new guy, don\u2019t expect anyone to ask you how you\u2019re doing or what\u2019s new in your life. If you want to talk about them either bring those topics up yourself or forget about them.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Set Boundaries<\/strong><\/p>\n On the flip side, if you lost your job or broke up with your boyfriend and those topics are still touchy ones for you, make sure to shut down anyone around you who brings them up or wants to talk about them. You can do this easily by saying something as simple as, \u201cI appreciate your concern and interest, but I\u2019m not ready to talk about it yet.\u201d<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Take A Timeout<\/strong><\/p>\n If your family is getting a little out of hand, take a break in the bathroom in order to temporarily get away from the madness. You can also go outside to get some air. Did someone bring a dog? See if you can take it for a walk.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Decompress Afterward<\/strong><\/p>\n If you\u2019re still at the get together, think about how you\u2019re going to get your groove back afterward. Maybe it\u2019s a bubble bath to release all that stress? Or maybe you pop in that first-person shooter and mow down a mob of zombies? Whatever you do, make sure it gives you pleasure and takes your mind off your family drama.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n If you don\u2019t feel up to dealing with your uncle\u2019s passive aggressive ways or your sister-in-law\u2019s constant blathering and you decide not to go, try to plan out your activities so you don\u2019t start feeling lonely or left out.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Tell Your Family<\/strong><\/p>\n It\u2019s totally fine not to attend the holiday gathering, but make sure you tell your aunt or your mother or whoever that you\u2019re not going. Not going and not bothering to tell anyone will just cause another drama and you don\u2019t want that.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\nWhat to do if you don\u2019t go\u2026<\/strong><\/h3>\n