{"id":750,"date":"2016-08-23T19:52:20","date_gmt":"2016-08-23T19:52:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dev.groundedgirlsguide.com\/?p=750"},"modified":"2017-03-29T12:05:44","modified_gmt":"2017-03-29T16:05:44","slug":"7-things-you-should-never-say-to-your-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gaylekatz.com\/groundedgirlsguide\/toxic-people\/2016\/08\/23\/7-things-you-should-never-say-to-your-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"7 Things You Should NEVER Say To Your Kids"},"content":{"rendered":"<body><p><\/p>\n<h1><strong>7 Things You Should NEVER Say To Your Kids<\/strong><\/h1>\n<h2><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-751\" src=\"http:\/\/dev.groundedgirlsguide.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/Toxic-Things-Never-To-Say-To-Your-Kids.jpg\" alt=\"toxic-things-never-to-say-to-your-kids\" width=\"1920\" height=\"1280\" loading=\"lazy\" srcset=\"https:\/\/gaylekatz.com\/groundedgirlsguide\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/Toxic-Things-Never-To-Say-To-Your-Kids.jpg 1920w, https:\/\/gaylekatz.com\/groundedgirlsguide\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/Toxic-Things-Never-To-Say-To-Your-Kids-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/gaylekatz.com\/groundedgirlsguide\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/Toxic-Things-Never-To-Say-To-Your-Kids-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/gaylekatz.com\/groundedgirlsguide\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/Toxic-Things-Never-To-Say-To-Your-Kids-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/gaylekatz.com\/groundedgirlsguide\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/Toxic-Things-Never-To-Say-To-Your-Kids-272x182.jpg 272w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1920px) 100vw, 1920px\" \/><strong>Or, 7 Things Your Parents Should NEVER Say To You<\/strong><\/h2>\n<div class=\"paragraph\">\n<p>Everybody has advice on how to raise your kids, especially those people who are already parents.\u00a0 They\u2019ve been there, done that.<\/p>\n<p>What about parenting advice from someone who hasn\u2019t had kids?\u00a0 I don\u2019t have kids.\u00a0 I\u2019m not planning on having kids.\u00a0 However, I was once a kid.\u00a0 And I know what words are encouraging to someone still forming his or her self-image. I also know what words are not.<\/p>\n<p>In this week\u2019s post, I want to talk about what you SHOULDN\u2019T say to your kids if you want to them to have a healthy self-image.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<div class=\"paragraph\">\n<p><strong>1. You\u2019re dumb.\u00a0 You\u2019re fat.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Blanket statements like that are demeaning to your kids.\u00a0 These types of statements suck the motivation, enthusiasm, and hope out of their sails.\u00a0 Not only are they hurtful, but also they warp your children\u2019s perceptions of themselves.\u00a0 If this is what you say, they may internalize those comments and, inadvertently, grow into them.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"paragraph\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"paragraph\">\n<p><strong>2. You\u2019re just like your mother or father.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>If mom or dad is criticized often enough, then your child will often feel the brunt of the comment. \u00a0Even if the comment isn\u2019t directed at your child at that moment, he or she may internalize your words. \u00a0This may lead to your child feeling bad because he or she has let you down.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<blockquote><p>Nasty names are unacceptable and demeaning when used to describe anyone, especially your child.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<div class=\"paragraph\"><strong>3. Call them nasty names<br>\n<\/strong><br>\nNasty names are unacceptable and demeaning when used to describe anyone, especially your child.\u00a0 If you\u2019re using them, you\u2019re demonstrating that name-calling is okay (which it isn\u2019t) and it starts to perpetuate a pattern of self-deprecation.\u00a0 It may also lead to your child calling others nasty names, a very bad habit that may be hard to break.<\/div>\n<div class=\"paragraph\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"paragraph\"><strong>4. You can\u2019t do that.<br>\n<\/strong><br>\nWhen you have a child, you think they can change the world.\u00a0 As your child grows up, you can either convey that to them through encouraging and inspirational words or you can tell them they can\u2019t.\u00a0 If you do the latter, you severely limit their aspirations and what they think they can accomplish.\u00a0 If you put your mind to something, you can do it.\u00a0 If your mind is already telling you that you can\u2019t, then you won\u2019t because you might not even try.<\/div>\n<div class=\"paragraph\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"paragraph\"><strong>5. Stop crying.<br>\n<\/strong><br>\nIf you child has ever fallen down and skinned their knee or you yelled at him or her for doing something wrong, chances are that your child probably cried.\u00a0 Whether the crying was because of something physically or mentally painful doesn\u2019t matter.\u00a0 If your child isn\u2019t feeling right, expressing emotions is a great way to show how they feel since they might not be able to express themselves fully with words, depending on their age.Instructing them to stop crying is telling them not to express themselves.\u00a0 After a while, they might not show any emotion, happy or sad.\u00a0 As they grow up, they might even become uncomfortable expressing emotions at all.<\/div>\n<blockquote><p>You can\u2019t abandon them and leave them feeling like you don\u2019t support them.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<div class=\"paragraph\">\n<p><strong>6. I\u2019m done with you.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This one is particularly hurtful.\u00a0 When you say something like, \u201cI\u2019m done with you,\u201d it\u2019s like saying, \u201cThis relationship is over,\u201d or \u201cI only want to deal with you at certain times.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>This is ignoring your child.\u00a0 You had a child so now you need to be a parent, in good times and in not so good times.\u00a0 You can\u2019t abandon them and leave them feeling like you don\u2019t support them.<\/p>\n<p>In all relationships, you have commitments and compromises.\u00a0 If your child does something you feel is wrong and you immediately disconnect and walk the other way, what does that say to your child?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"paragraph\"><\/div>\n<div class=\"paragraph\">\n<p><strong>7. Get out of the house.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This one is a harsher version of #6.\u00a0 If you kick your child out of the house in a foul way, such as ordering them to vacate the premises, you\u2019re doing both of you a disservice.<\/p>\n<p>First, unless you\u2019ve talked about it previously, your child might not be ready to survive on his or her own.\u00a0 Instead of grooming them to be self-sufficient so they\u2019re ready to take on the world, you\u2019re prematurely kicking them out without even a life preserver.\u00a0 This type of behavior ensures they either come crawling back later because they can\u2019t seem to make it in the world or they do whatever they can to avoid coming back at all, no matter the sacrifice.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"paragraph\">\n<p>If you\u2019re guilty of doing any of these, congratulations on being an adult and admitting that you\u2019re not perfect.\u00a0 Who\u2019s perfect anyway?\u00a0 The good news is that if you\u2019re currently saying any of these things to your kids, tomorrow is another day and you can always change what and how you talk to them.<\/p>\n<p>Make a conscious effort to avoid saying these things to your kids and you\u2019ll have a much better relationship with them as they grow up and become adults themselves.<\/p>\n<p>Did you find this information helpful? \u00a0Let me know by leaving a comment below!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>If you found this article helpful and are in need of additional guidance, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/Grounded-Dealing-Difficult-People-Saving-ebook\/dp\/B01H5W5A1O\" target=\"_blank\">grab a copy of my book, \u201cGrounded Girl\u2019s Guide to Dealing With Difficult People and Saving Your Sanity<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/body>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>7 Things You Should NEVER Say To Your Kids Or, 7 Things Your Parents Should NEVER Say To You Everybody has advice on how to raise your kids, especially those people who are already parents.\u00a0 They\u2019ve been there, done that. What about parenting advice from someone who hasn\u2019t had kids?\u00a0 I don\u2019t have kids.\u00a0 I\u2019m [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,3,6,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-750","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dealing-with-toxic-people-blog","category-emotional-abuse","category-self-esteem","category-toxic-parents"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>7 Things You Should NEVER Say To Your Kids - Grounded Girl&#039;s Guide<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/gaylekatz.com\/groundedgirlsguide\/toxic-people\/2016\/08\/23\/7-things-you-should-never-say-to-your-kids\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"7 Things You Should NEVER Say To Your Kids - Grounded Girl&#039;s Guide\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"7 Things You Should NEVER Say To Your Kids Or, 7 Things Your Parents Should NEVER Say To You Everybody has advice on how to raise your kids, especially those people who are already parents.\u00a0 They\u2019ve been there, done that. 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